That first stage sounds something like, "I won't! I'll never let them off the hook for this!" Or "I won't forgive them until they repent and make amends!" The message is PUNISH!!! Sometimes the pain is so acute and the emotions are overpowering. "If you ever loved me, don't rob me of my hate, its all I have...."
One of the 4 doors in Sozo Freedom Prayer is hatred. How do we close the door to hatred? How do we move past the deep hurt of betrayal? How do we heal from from that place where we can make the choice to begin the process of forgiveness? Andy Reese in Freedom Tools delineates this in the chapter on 10 Foundations. We have to understand "Event and Process". Father God, I want to close the door of hatred. How do we do this?